Out of the Woodwork…
Hello, my dear readers! It’s time for me to dust off the cobwebs and get cracking again with these posts. I don’t like to make excuses for when I start to slack off, but often times, there are legitimate reasons that contribute to that.
So I’m going to be honest.
I was in a relationship with a man for a total of four months, and in late September, we broke up. It’s not that he is a bad person, or an a**hole – that is not the case at all. Truth be told, he is certainly up there in my (very short) list of good boyfriends. Everytime a good one comes along, they set the bar higher and higher. He had a lot of very good qualities that were important to me – qualities that I learned I needed in a man based on failed relationships of the past. He was responsible, kind, stable, level-headed, hardworking, among other things.
While he had many redeeming qualities, him and I were very different in some respects. I thought at first that they were things I could overlook, but being further removed from it, I realized that they really weren’t. I believe that a healthy couple should have their differences in opinion, but there are limits. When it comes to things like religion, politics, and a future, there are some things that cannot be ignored. In the end, we were very different and had different needs both in and out of the relationship.
Everybody has their ideal picture of what their life will look like with their future spouse, whomever they may be. Perhaps it is early to think about, being that I am 21, but even now I know there are things I do and do not want to have to compromise about when it comes to considering someone as a “possibility”, if you will.
I digress – we had a lot of positive memories and good times together, and I firmly believe that that is how he sees it as well. Our relationship ended on an amicable note, and I truly wish him the best.
After that break up, I truly did feel quite lost, however at the same time, I knew I needed to move on so that is what I did.
At first, I really wanted to just be. I needed to readjust my lifestyle since I just had a significant part of it removed.
I ended up meeting a really hansome guy. Mind you – this was not even 2 weeks removed from the break up. I was still a tiny bit of a hot mess. On our first date, I confessed that I had just gotten out of a relationship. I explained the nature of the break up, and that I did need time to just ‘be’.
I pretty much did everything wrong ever on the first 2 or 3 dates – gushing my thoughts about life and my ex and all that. I really have no idea why he put up with it! Most guys would be gone in a heart beat. Shortly after, I realized I really did need time 100% alone to grieve and eat ice cream and chinese food and pizza and be sad about the break up, and I told this guy that and he respected it. I told him when I was ready, I’d contact him. He took it really well.
After the grieving process, I thought to myself, ‘Nothing is going to change. You did nothing wrong. It is not your fault that you and (ex-man) did not match up.’ I realized rather quickly that I was ready to fully move on.
So – here I am – in a relationship and ready to take life as it comes. I’m really happy. I’m not going to sit here and gush about how wonderful this man is – but I will say my favorite thing about him so far. He encourages growth in me personally and professionally, and holds me accountable when I slack off. I’m taking life one day at a time, and so far it’s going really well.
At this point you may be wondering why I just rambled about my personal life – but there is a lesson.
The lesson in all of this is to never settle.
For anything, ever. Consider what is most important to you now and what will be important to you 5, 10, or 20 years from now. If there are things you know you need or want in your future, you have every right to have that and shouldn’t feel the need to compromise something you had your hopes set on. It leads to disappointment, tension, and resentment in yourself and in your relationships. Always be open with your feelings, and if you aren’t getting what you need, speak up. In your early adult life, you are the only one who’s truly going to look out for your best interests.
So, that’s most of the reason I haven’t been posting on my blog.
Some of the other reasons include:
1. Sometimes I’m lazy.
2. Sometimes I don’t have time to cook.
3. Matt and I had been going out to eat a lot. Oops :o
4. I was looking for a new job..which I did find! I’m currently a personal trainer at a gym in my area. I am so excited to be furthering my career in health and fitness! I know it’s going to be hard at first, but I want to put in the work to get where I want to be.
5. I’m sort of working on finding/redeveloping my voice as a writer – especially now that I am truly working in the fitness industry. I am trying to develop my personal philosophies on fitness and nutrition more, so that I can share them with you guys!
6. Having very limited funds and time constraints does not lend itself to having pretty at-home food photo shoots. :(
Some good things have happened in the last two months, though!
1. I ran (mostly) my first half marathon! It took me three hours.. eh :/
2. As a result, I messed up my knee and have patellofemoral pain syndrom, or what is commonly called ‘runner’s knee’. It hurt. A lot. I couldn’t walk right for a few days after the race. I believe it is related to a potential stress fracture that happened during my last long training run. I know that’s not a good thing..but..yeah.
3. My new job as a personal trainer! I have 4 or 5 regular clients so far. It’s not much, but it’s a start! I love that I’m getting the chance to develop my persona as a personal trainer, and learning how to better relate to people of different ages, genders, etc.
4. I’m getting a little better at managing friends, boyfriend, school, work, and fitness/diet! I also started using MyFitnessPal again, and I’m loving the changes they’ve made!
5. I went to the Fitness Magazine Meet & Tweet in New York, NY and met Carla Hall from ABC’s The Chew! She is my SOUL SISTA. I also got tons of AMAZING swag from the event! More on that in another post. (Better late than never, right?
6. I went apple picking! I LOVE fall!
So – those are my excuses/reasons for not posting in almost 2 months! I will be back with a vengeance (and a protein pancake recipe) this week!!! Ta Ta!